Have you ever heard this line before, "Let's just be friends?" The chances that you have are pretty good. As a matter of fact you'd probably have a hard time finding someone who hasn't been victimized by this rejection nightmare at least once in their life. It strikes without warning, so you think, but you were destined to hear those four dreaded words the first nanosecond the relationship began.

You thought you were doing everything right. You approached them, or better yet, they approached you. They seemed interested enough; after all, the fact that they gave you any attention at all and you made a good first impression should have been enough for them to see what a prize you were. Right?

You bought them flowers, you bought them dinner, you called or emailed them 10 times a day, you showered them with attention and put them on a pedestal fit for a king. Then……. when you finally found enough courage to tell them what you REALLY wanted, you heard those four dreaded words…."Lets just be friends."

Guess what the translation is?….."We will never be romantic, but I'd love it if you kept doing what your doing because sometimes it's kinda nice and I'll let this charade go on until I have no more use for you or you get to be like gum under my shoe." Of course you accept this, continue to debase yourself and cling to the relationship as you try and rebuild your fantasy of an outcome you'll never achieve. Does it sound familiar? What went wrong?......

You've mistakenly confused slightly interested with highly Interested. So far I've been talking about relationships with the opposite sex of course, but there are marketing correlations too. Read on.

In marketing your products and services, it's almost the same story. Only the words have changed to, "I'm not interested," "I have to talk to my spouse," "I don't have the money right now," "call me in 10 years," "bla bla bla." Guess what your prospects are really saying?....."You're never going to see my wallet because my hands are staying in my pockets." You've failed to recognize the difference between a slightly interested prospect and a highly interested prospect and offering them a product or service that they really desired.

So you bang your head against a wall and think, man I must be doing something wrong and a light bulb goes off in your head that sez, "I've got to be more motivated, make more phone calls, work harder, approach more people, buy more lunches and dinners, be totally available for their every need and jump through more hoops"………WRONG!

It's not your motivation. Find out why it's your positioning created by your marketing strategy

It's categorized you as a peddler, chasing low interest clients and putting you in the lousy position of being just another salesperson. Your prospects see you as a needy, desperate, gum under their shoe annoyance. You think this kind of behavior wouldn't annoy you too? Then you haven't had a telemarketer call you just as you were about to sit down for dinner. People sign up for no call lists for a reason…They hate sales calls!

Don't get me wrong here; you still have to learn how to overcome common objections even in highly interested potential clients, but it's not the mountain you'll have to climb for low interest ones. So, are you ready for some new ideas about how to change your positioning and help yourself avoid being miserable?

One definition of insanity is: Doing the same thing over and over again and expecting different results…Here's what you need to change

Here's the deal…..Your not going to change 2 billion years of evolution. People will continue to act the same way they always have towards salespeople, junk mail and unsolicited email pushing products or services that they're not interested in. If you can't change people's behavior towards sales calls and unwanted media, then you need to change their perception of you and your advertising by putting yourself in a different position.

Your solution is to develop a marketing strategy that puts these highly interested clients in the position of having to contact you, instead of the other way around. Potential clients who seek you out are more likely listen to you, respect you and do business with you because they've sought you out for your guidance and expertise. Their behavior changes because the psychology of who contacted who first changed. What's the easiest, cost effective way to do this is?

Develop a Lead Generation System

A Lead Generation System is the process of generating consistent, high quality clients through the production and placement of a variety of media including websites, brochures, post cards, newsletters, white papers, press releases etc. in optimal target markets.

Critical Features of a Lead Generation System

..Determine your Unique Selling Proposition
..Research and identify your target market
..Develop a lead generator to attract and keep the attention of potential clients.
..Recognize wrong markets…Control acquisition costs

Determine your unique selling proposition: No small task in itself, your USP makes the case for why your potential clients should deal with you above all others. Any business that wants to stay in business needs to establish their USP. It must be repeated in all your sales and marketing literature and your presentations, but more importantly, you must be able to deliver on all the claims that you make in your USP.

Research your target market: Your USP qualifies your entry into certain markets. Your products and services can't be all things to all people, but they could be just the right thing for just the right people. Find out who they are. What are the ages, sexes and income brackets of your best prospects? Where do they live? What frightens them, what pleases them, where do they shop, eat and vacation? How do they get to work? What are they're spending habits? Are they thrifty, eccentric, or are they tighter than a clam with lock jaw? Match your USP with your target market you'll get the right products and services in front of the right people.

Develop a lead generator: Whatever form of media you choose, your message must immediately grasp and hold your prospects attention and get them to respond to your lead generator. A lead generator is the prize they receive for continuing to take the next step in the sales process. Depending on your market a lead generator could be in the form of a free gift, a white paper, free tips or information, coupons or any offer that over-delivers on their expectations etc.

Your goal is to get the right message in front of the right prospects and get them to act on your offer by taking the next step and contacting you, visiting your website or requesting more information on your products and services. Accomplish this and you've changed the rules. You've repositioned yourself from being a fly in the ointment to a guy with an appointment.

Recognize wrong markets...Control acquisition costs: Every good marketing plan should have the ability to measure results. One of the most overlooked and costly aspects of businesses today are measuring the expense to acquire new customers. The name of the game is to control and standardize those costs.

If you've ever bought a stock and watched it go down, hoping beyond hope that the thing would turn around, then you'll remember that sinking feeling you had because you didn't shelve your emotions and cut your losses. A good stock or commodity trader sets limits for losing trades by sticking to a set of rules. They know if they take money off the table by establishing circuit breakers, they'll still be in business tomorrow. The same rules should apply for customer acquisition costs. Stop sending money down a black hole.

Budget each form of media and each campaign.
Establish parameters based on that budget for the amount of times contact is made for each prospect in each form of media used.
Calculate interest level from 1 to 10. 5 or above and you keep at it. Below 5 should trigger your circuit breakers. Cut your losses, walk away and don't look back. Being able to say "NEXT" can save you time aggravation and expense

In every relationship, the person with the most options has control.

Once you've established an effective Lead Generating Marketing Plan with an efficient mechanism to control costs, you'll have a steady stream of qualified leads from a variety of sources. With more options, you can now focus on what you do best, and you'll have control over where your resources are used.

PS…The next time someone tells you, "lets just be friends", tell em' you've got enough friends……..NEXT!

"I believe that one of the characteristics of the human race, possibly the one that is primarily responsible for its course of evolution,  is that it has grown by creatively responding to failure."

*-- Glen Seaborg {American Scientist & Nobel Laureate}