Really Sure You Want What You Think You Want?

Really Sure You Want What You Think You Want?

"God created people to help each other but God created mothers only to love." *-- --Alexender

"Remember it's easy to lose focus if you are not focused."

"Don't expect a great day; make one."

Do You Really Want What You Think You Want?

Here’s a story about the famous violinist, Isaac Stern, that can be attributed to a variety of sources.

It seems that a woman approached him after hearing him perform.

“I would give my life to play the way you do,” she gushed.

“Indeed I have,” he replied. “Indeed I have.”

The more I read about “overnight sensations,” the more I understand that there really is no such thing as an “overnight sensation.” Think about people in your mind that seemed to be wildly successful just out of the blue: top billing actors that you hadn’t heard of two years ago, new musicians on the scene, a new ceo at a corporation that seemed to emerge from nowhere, or a best-selling author whose “first” book raced to the top of the best sellers’ list.

As a culture, we’re enchanted with overnight success stories. We love movies where the shy person is “discovered” to be a singer, and suddenly he’s on tour, riding around in limousines and signing autographs. We love to think about Oprah’s glory in contrast to her humble beginnings, forgetting that her stellar success was years in the making. Did you see the movie “Walk The Line”? Remember the scene where Johnny Cash shows up at Sun Records, and in the next scene is performing “Folsom Prison Blues” with his band for the owner? Apparently, in real life, Johnny was sent away repeatedly, and it took several visits and several meetings with the owner to convince him to give Johnny an audition.

Now, how many times have you heard phrases like these?

“I’d give anything to lose weight.”
“I wish I were rich and famous.”
“I’ve always wanted to be a writer.”
“I’d love to be able to play the piano.”
“I want more than anything to quit smoking.”

Maybe you’ve said things like these. (Okay, I admit I’ve uttered a couple of those phrases myself.)

When people say these things, usually they don’t really mean them. For instance, when people say they would give “anything” to lose weight, do they truly mean “anything”? What if it means quitting their sedentary job and finding a more active one? What if it means going to the gym four times a week for the next year or so? (Sure, it sounds possible, but why do so many people stop going after a month?) What if it means saying goodbye to comforting binges, inactivity, and poor albeit yummy food choices?

Many people are not willing to pay that price.

How about wishing for fame? How many people are really willing to get out there in front of people and risk failure or humiliation? How many people are willing to relocate their families to where the “action” is, such as a major city or a different country? How many people are willing to write for eight hours a day for a year or five years or ten years to fulfill their dreams of hitting the best sellers list? How many are willing to give up their careers to wait tables between auditions?

How about “I sure wish I were rich”? Sure, we all want that. Or do we? How many of us wish for it but do nothing to make it happen? How many of us wish we were rich, but we charge more than we can pay off on our credit cards, and we fail to save money or make poor financial decisions?

How many of us know in our hearts that we will always prefer to work in fields that are traditionally low-paying? How many of us have chosen to stay home with our children over the financial rewards of a second income? How many of us refuse to give up our loveable but poor spouses in order to marry rich?

Now, on the other hand, if there is something that you really, truly wish for, it will be important enough for you to pay the price. You’ll want to lose weight badly enough to keep your commitments to yourself. You’ll want to play the piano badly enough that you’ll pay for weekly lessons and practice for an hour or more every day. You’ll want to quit smoking badly enough that you’ll suffer through the cravings and the agony. You’ll relocate yourself to wherever your odds of success are the highest in whatever it is you truly wish for.

Is there something that you truly wish for and believe you would do almost anything to achieve? Have you taken the time to write down everything that would be required to make it happen? If you haven’t, you should consider doing this. When you go through the process of writing everything down, you might see that your “impossibility” has been converted into a list of things that you really can do. And then you have a to-do list to map you to your wish!