"If we listened to our intellect,
we'd never have a love affair. We'd never have a friendship. We'd
never go into business,
"Millions long for immortality who don't know what to do with themselves on a rainy Sunday afternoon." *-- Susan Ertz "At times our own light goes
out and is rekindled by a spark from another person.? Each of us has cause
to think with
|
When we were talking the other day we started to think
about our heroes when we were young. After we had discussed the usual film
star and sports stars that we idolised I remembered Derek. Derek was a
couple of years ahead of me in school and he had everything; he always
got straight ‘A’s’ and was formidable on the football field as well as
one of the fastest over 100 metres. What’s more he didn’t appear to work
at it. When the rest of us were ‘slaving’ away at our homework or sweating
buckets trying to impress on the football field or athletics track he just
turned up and got on with it. A natural, was how one of our teachers described
him.
Natural or hero, Derek caused me and others a lot of pain. His skills and our hero worship caused us to begin the ‘beating yourself up’ process. You know the; ‘I’m not good enough’. ‘If only I could do that’.’ I couldn’t possibly do that’. The self defeating traits of inadequacy, insecurity and worthlessness and constant comparison with others all started here. With Derek, we started the comparison programme. Comparison is just another name for subservience. When you compare yourself to someone you are really accepting that you are impressed by them, you want them to influence your life and are willingly bowing down to their perceived skills and abilities. The problem with subservience is that you can never be free. It takes away all your happiness and power. You end up confused and wilting like a flower. The fact is comparing yourself with others not only stops you from being successful, it’s destructive. As, Elizabeth Fisher an American author, stated; ‘comparison is a death knell to sibling harmony’. Suggesting that the minute you compare yourself with anybody the relationship is always going to be powerless. Because you are now in a subservient relationship. The truth is that only prices, products and stores can be compared. Not people. You can compare key data any product, price or service. So when you compare yourself with others are you a product, price or service? Remember those essays from school and university where you were always asked to compare and contrast something with the aim of showing the similarities and differences of an argument etc. But how do you do this with people? What is being compared or contrasted? How are people similar? Height, weight, age, the clothes they wear, walk, where they live, the cars they drive, their salary, their achievements, their views ? Do you compare yourself with others? Who do you compare yourself with? What are the attributes you compare? Are you comparing like with like? You can compare males and females and they way they perform tasks, parents against children, different age groups. You can compare how your opinions are similar or different. But the best you can get is that you are mostly similar or mostly different. What about jealousy? How do you measure that? You can compare products with different versions. But people? How do you compare yourself with your parents or grandparents? You could be like Shakespeare and compare yourself against nature i.e. beauty with day and night. But not compare one person against another. Comparing yourself with others is like putting yourself in a prison. A prison which can only bring pain. A prison that stops you from experiencing your true talents. No one puts you in this prison, you do it all by yourself. You simply learn, as I did, not to accept yourself and reject who you really are in favour for what you perceive another person has. In other words you give yourself a hard time and delay your own growth because you thought the other person was better than you. Trust yourself, you have all the skills you need to succeed. All you need is a change of process. Stop judging yourself. Instead of comparing yourself with others, subverting your own power and constantly under performing; focus on your potential. What you want to be. Meditate on where you want to be. Imagine yourself achieving your potential. What does it look like, what does it feel like. Surround yourself with images and artefacts depicting the future you and gradually, you will become what you always wanted to be. The more you believe in your capabilities the more your behaviour will change. Access the hidden skills you have. Trust in yourself. You have far more skills and abilities than you are using at present. If you have heroes then beware you could be taking away your skills, your individualism and making yourself subservient for the rest of your life. In which case who needs heroes? |
Motivational Articles
Just Stuff It ALL Burden of Choice Happiness From Within on a Regular Basis Affirmative Power Independent : Which Type Are You By Speaking Softly and Healthy Grief By Reminiscing Your Past Mind Through Writing Learning Something New Healthy Self-Esteem How Good Are You or Bad Change From Your Vocabulary A Life Purpose |
Get a Free Daily Inspirational Quotations By Email Home Page : Motivation and Inspiration ==> Self Help Advice All the site contents are Copyright © www.gotothings.com
and the content authors. All rights reserved.
|